The Beauty of Motherhood

5 months since you came into our lives. 5 months since I gave birth to you. 5 months since our lives changed in a transformative way, in ways I could not have imagined beforehand. 

15 months ago, I had no plans of becoming a mom the next year. Sometimes the world delivers exactly what you need, even when you have very different ideas. Change is often perceived as dangerous, difficult, and unfair, especially about having children. People say babies are boring because you can’t do anything with them, and parenthood is to be avoided because it’s too restrictive and too much responsibility. Statements like this diagnose our Western culture: We are fanatical in our pursuit of never having a sad or unpleasant moment. No wonder we experience a crisis of meaning. 

For me, the change in life a new baby requires has been exhilarating, expansive, and exciting. Yes also, not easy, less comfortable, and high stakes, but they are not at all comparable. That would be a completely asymmetric comparison; The most remarkable things in life always come at a cost. Everything else is an illusion.

Only 5 months of life and our baby girl has already interacted with, and begun to discover and explore the world with her mama and papa: Dipped her toes in the refreshing Aegean ocean, felt the warm African wind on her skin, smelled blooming flowers and heard buzzing bees, gazed at the shadows on the wall from huge palms, experienced amazing sunsets, and got a taste of Egyptian mango. She has also experienced love from her close family, kisses and laughs, hugs and cuddles, as well as warm and friendly interactions with strangers who don’t speak her mother tongue. 

Soon she will interact more deeply with the world around her, talk to familiars and strangers, play and have fun in the natural world, contemplate the dark night sky, and philosophize about things we adults have long forgotten that we once did not understand. While she will do all that and more, we will be there by her side, every step of the way. Discovering, connecting, and exploring this astonishing planet of ours, and all the beautiful diverse cultures, human beings, and animals living here. Along the way, we will slowly but surely let go and allow her to take baby steps towards becoming independent, and free. Every good mother fails they say, and for good reason.

To experience the things we take for granted as adults, through her eyes for the first time, is truly magical. It is a reminder that life outside of ourselves, outside of our narrow self-inflation, is vastly more meaningful. It is something to be grateful for every day.  The change in our life has been extraordinary, it does not compare to anything else. Together with my husband, I now have a beautiful child to care completely about, someone with whom I will be bonded forever. 

I’ve tried to put it into words, but the words still do not capture the experience.

There are no words for it.

Our beautiful daughter, Faylia Sophia, 29/06/24